Hey I have an idea!

So, my wonderful husband, in all his wonderfulness sent me a text about a month ago. 

      "Why didn't I think of this before as an option, teach music abroad."

I may or may not have texted back 7 hours later

      "...donuts..."

That's where it all started. Duane and his scheming. He began doing research (his specialty), and discovered a website devoted to posting jobs available at international schools (as in, not in the USofA). From there he spent an enormous amount of hours perfecting his CV, putting his teaching philosophy into words, writing cover letters, gathering references and testimonies and putting together a website dedicated to promoting himself as an international teacher. He has since put applications out to schools in Mali, The Cayman Islands, Rio de Janeiro, etc. Now we wait patiently for responses. 

What have I been doing during all this. Stressing. Worrying. Wondering about the future. Let me first state this. I love my husband, I respect my husband, and I want him to succeed. Despite the steady flow of gigs that Duane has had in Nashville, we are not reaping the benefits. The idea itself has met a lot of resistance from all different kinds of people (I'll admit, that I have had my doubts and issues). People mean well and I love that they can feel comfortable to speak truth to us and caution us from making decisions we may regret. I know that they speak out of love for us. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? God calls us to do and try many different things and I never want to be close-minded or stiff-necked. I have always thought, God won't call me to do anything radical like moving to another country, being a missionary,etc. I'll just be a nurse...the gosh-darn best, most compassion, caring nurse you have ever had, all for God's glory ;). Never say never people. Never say never. 

It took me awhile of wrestling with this, being angry, sad, upset, excited...you name it. I can't believe I didn't break something in a random fit of rage. (Yes, I am my father's daughter. I have quite the temper.) I worried about bills that we have, the puppy we love, what would/could I do in a foreign country, and how would I get along if I didn't know the language. Fear is crippling. I hate not having a plan; a well formed check list of 'to-dos' I can calmly work my way through. I am struggling to learn that I am not, nor will I ever be, in control. 

In this moment though, I feel peace. I am determined to be still, and wait on the timing of the Lord. 

So Behind...Happy Anniversary?...

So last ..cough.. year Duane and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary!! Now, although I love that we married in December and I thought our wedding, the weather, and the day was absolutely beautiful, it does get hard to celebrate together so close to the holidays. Our first two anniversaries, we didn't really do anything for ourselves, instead we would just go home and visit family for christmas/new years. This year I wanted it to be different. I wanted to make our marriage a priority and so we planned a trip. Not just any trip, but a DISNEY trip.

So, being the frugal couple we are, we could not imagine paying 200+ a person to fly to Orlando. Instead, we dropped Meah off at the kennel and started driving. What was suppose to be a 10 hour car ride turned into a 13-14hour car ride. AHHHH!! Just outside of Atlanta, there was an accident that closed all of south bound I-75. We were diverted off the interstate for a 3 hour detour that took us about 5 miles down 75 past the accident. We were at our wits end by then and not even halfway there? It was an awful start, but we finally made it to our hotel at about 2 am.

Disney was absolutely magical. I say Disney and of course in my mind, this includes Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. I know this is not so, but I just wanted to clarify for this blog's sake, what I mean exactly.

Day 1 we went to Hollywood Studios. We road Tower of Terror, Rock n' Roller coaster  (both several times) and went to the Indian Jones stunt show to name a few things. It was really fun and since we went in December, we hardly waited in lines at all. The longest line was maybe 30mins total and I feel so spoiled now. I wouldn't know what to do if I had to wait a long time. 

We spent Day 2 at Universal Studios, riding roller coasters, becoming Minions from Despicable Me, being chased by aliens from MIB and the Mummy. We also saved the world with Transformers. It was so much fun. 

Day 3 we went to Islands of Adventure and basically spent the whole day between The Incredible Hulk and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. The detail in the Hogwarts castle and the stores and restaurants was phenomenal. I had 2 Butter Beers, we rode both sides of the Dueling Dragons (you have to ride in the front, its 100x more awesome), and the ride through the Castle. I guess we will have to plan another trip soon since they are opening up Diagon Alley later this year *wink, wink.*

Charlene, Aaron and Brian

We also had one more special thing planned and we got to share it with our friends from small group Charlene, Brian and their son Aaron. We went to Mickey's Christmas Party. Basically it's Disney Magic and Christmas spirit all rolled into one amazing night. The park opens from 7p-12a for everyone who has the special tickets. You can ride any rides, there's free cookies and hot chocolate and you get to watch some spectacular fireworks and a parade. I even got hit on by Peter Pan. What more could I ask for right? That night we were able to ride Space Mountain (Duane had never been!!) and I got to meet Belle (my favorite Disney Princess). We also watched the parade, road the railroad and got stuck in a Haunted Mansion. It was amazing. I loved our Disney Vacation. 

 

When I can't protect you

Originally I had planned to write an up-beat post about why I love spending hours or time in antique stores and how they have something to offer everyone, but my heart is hurting and I need to share.

We have an awesome dog named Meah. She is intelligent and always wants to please us. She loves everyone and every animal, dogs and cats alike. The only thing she has ever growled at was a scarecrow. I mean, who wouldn't? I am devastated that this had to happen to such an amazing and wonderful furry family member. 

We have been concerned for a few weeks about her hips. Hip dysplasia is very common with large breeds and she was starting to show symptoms like limping, being stiff and slow getting up and down and just having overall decreased energy when she is still just a puppy, not even a year old. Duane and I took her to the vet today and even paid the extra for the x-rays which confirmed our suspicion. Meah has bilateral hip dysplasia. She has old lady hips and she's not even a year old. 

Why our beautiful baby? I know that she is "just a dog" but she is our pup and we love her. She is part of our family and I absolutely HATE that she has to go through this and there is very little we can do about it. We can protect her from this. She has to grow up too fast now. I know there are so many more problems going on throughout peoples lives and throughout the world, but today our world was rocked in a bad way by this news. 

-Cas

mmmhmm Fall :)

Having lived my entire life in Georgia up until now, I rarely get to see the effects of fall. Georgia is pine tree central and the amount of hardwood trees that shed their leaves are far outweighed by the amount of evergreens. Tennessee is a whole other story though and it is absolutely breathtaking. It's like I woke up one morning and everything had changed overnight from a rich green to a chorus of yellows, oranges and reds. Duane, Meah and I took a walk on the local greenway yesterday to enjoy the colors while they lasted. 

Meah got caught mid-lick...or maybe I got caught?

Photo bombed by my foot :)

The weather was perfect. The scenery was magnificent. I love God's creation. 

-Cas

Yay for visitors

We had visitors two weekends ago, the first since the big move. Fortunately I have seen the majority of our families since the move because of the plethora of weddings and showers back home. But this time, my dad and stepmom came to visit us!

We love for people to come see us BTW.

It was a wonderful weekend, not too crazy busy or rushed, just good quality time spent together. They arrived Thursday evening and we went to Chuy's on Broadway. Oh man is their salsa good! Everything is made from scratch (except fries and fish apparently) and you can definitely taste the quality in the food. One down side, it was sooo loud on that busy thursday night. I definitely had to yell for anyone to be able to hear me across the table so it wasn't exactly great for conversation. But we still left with our bellies stuffed with delicious food. 

Next it was off to the Commodore Grille where Dad and Diane got to see Duane play with Manditori in a writers round. They put on a great show as always!

Friday was a really relaxed day. We hung around the house throughout the morning, breakfast casserole, coffee and chicken and dumplings filled our morning and lunchtime and it was awesome! Then we went to Long Hollow Winery and tasted all of their yummy wines. Friday night Duane and I showed them the downtown area (the main tourist area on Broadway). We walked around for a while, ate at Margaritaville and got margaritas of course. Diane almost fell into the trap and bought boots in Nashville. I mean come on, that's a staple here and it's hard to pass up buy one pair, get 2 free ;). Then we got to see Duane play again! He played at Hotel Indigo with Alyssa Jayce and Jessa Shown. If you get a chance I would check both of these lovely ladies out on Facebook, they are legitimately awesome!!

Saturday was gameday. Vandy vs UGA. Not a great day for UGA fans. The weather was cold and wet and the game was a definite letdown. I will leave it at that, no reason to relive a bad moment :)

So that's the rundown. Sunday morning they packed up and went home. Hopefully y'all are really excited about it and will want to visit us too! 

Oh and Meah gave Dad and Diane lots of love. Lots and Lots of love. Probably more than they wanted. 

-Cas

struggles

So I have all these thoughts swimming in my head and they probably won't fit in one post. Also, this might be rambling or scattered, but hopefully I can get all my thoughts and feelings out. :)

So moving is a struggle. Not past tense, I am over it and we are completely settled 5 months in, but still sometimes a daily emotional struggle. The only thing that didn't change was my roommate and He's here to stay ;). Job switch was o.k. and actually went very smoothly. Once I got over the sheer magnitude of the Vanderbilt campus I felt fine. I am confident in my previous training and nursing abilities and was blessed with awesome coworkers who are crazy and weird like me and beyond. 

Loneliness is the worst feeling. I have been sad before, but never at this level. There are days were I wonder why I should get out of bed at all, because I have no where to go and nothing to accomplish. All the lies that the enemy whispers in your ear when all you want is a friend to talk to brought me to some pretty low points. I felt insecure and unworthy of the love of my husband or the love of God. Luckily I have a wonderful God in heaven who loves me and a spirit inside who helps me detect those pesky lies and realize the truth that God is trying to speak into my heart. That doesn't mean they don't hurt, I just know that God never sees me in that light. I am His Beloved, He is mine. But the enemy has definitely tried to take advantage of my vulnerable spots lately, trying desperately to tear me down and derail me. 

My solution for this problem was church. Sounds like a good one right? Find the right one, get involved in a small group and everything will fall in place right? It's not as easy as it sounds. Friendships aren't made overnight and you can only get out what you put in. Back in Statesboro, I volunteered Saturday morning for set-up, Sunday to teach elementary school kids and help tear down after. Oh yeah, and we had small group on Friday nights too. It was hard work and some days I didn't want to, but I was fed so much and made many lasting relationships by working alongside other people. It hasn't been so easy here. There are many excuses as to why I haven't started volunteering, but none of them are very good. 

Unfortunately, unlike my last job where I was off every Sunday, now I work multiple Sundays throughout the month. The last month and a half the only sermons I listened to were via podcast and the only worship experiences I have had were either listening to the radio in the car, or on my iPhone while jogging. I am not trying to devalue these things, in fact, they have kept me moving forward and given me hope. However, there is something to be said about coming together as a group and participating in these things; praying, worshipping, serving and learning together, being able to lift each other up and having people nearby to call up in a time of struggle. This is what I am longing for. This is what I'm struggling to find. This is the first time I have ever really noticed all the things about "church" that I don't agree with. Not the church that Jesus intended, but what we call "church" that isn't always doing it's job. But that is definitely another post. 

God is sustaining me here. I honestly don't know how people go about life without him.

-Cas

updates cont...

So, where did I leave off in the story? Oh yes, Duane and I had just moved to Nashville (aka music city, aka nashvegas). 

Now I work at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in the adult hospital on the Cardiovascular Surgical Unit. Basically, we get LOTS of vascular surgeries (Fem-pop bypass, CABG, heart catheterizations, heart attacks, amputations, valve replacements, etc.). The vascular side is definitely new to me, but learning about it was pretty straight forward. Being that Vandy is such a large teaching institute, it is on the cutting edge of new technology and surgical techniques. Awesome right? Although I don't know everything, my nurse manager decided that I would make a good fill-in for charge nurse sometimes. After working for 3 months?!? I'm still flabbergasted by this and consistently deny that I would ever want to be in charge, but here I am, 1-2 days a week as charge nurse over a 20 bed unit. Crazy.

I love my co-workers. Night shift is so different and without awesome coworkers who value teamwork and being goofy and sarcastic, I wouldn't get through the long nights. Becki, Donna, Taylor, Mo, Kelly, Margo, Roy, June, Jane, David, Austin, Lucas, Brad, Terra, Salley, Laura, Christy, Beth, Hilary, Crystal, y'all are so awesome and I am so blessed to work with a wonderful group of people. I am so grateful to work on a unit that really does have such great teamwork. We might not always have the best night, but we get through it together. Y'all have held me up, and I will continue to do the same for you guys. :)

Duane has been job-hunting/networking and its working :) He has been playing with several different artists 2-4 times a week. He also has become a regular in the Long Hollow Baptist Church rotation for playing drum set sunday mornings and wednesday evenings. He has recorded two songs for artists that are either already available on iTunes, or coming soon and also has 2 upcoming tour opportunities. I am so proud of how hard he has been working to develop relationships and professional connections. He is not the out-going, never-meet-a-stranger type so this is BIG. He HATES calling strangers on the phone, let alone, talking to them in person. He is awesome and the people that he has met and played with truly rave about his abilities and demeanor. :) What can I say? I'm blessed. 

Meah loves our new yard, has a best friend (Abby) and loves the kitties down the street (Max and Bella). Everyone in the neighborhood knows her and all the kids love to pet her. She's definitely settled right at home into a routine. She's quite spoiled with her walks and the love and attention she gets all over the neighborhood. She's a great dog though. I am so pleased with her loving nature, despite the aggressiveness naturally associated with the german shepherd breed.