Friday, February 21, 2014

Hey I have an idea!

So, my wonderful husband, in all his wonderfulness sent me a text about a month ago. 
      "Why didn't I think of this before as an option, teach music abroad."

I may or may not have texted back 7 hours later
      "...donuts..."

That's where it all started. Duane and his scheming. He began doing research (his specialty), and discovered a website devoted to posting jobs available at international schools (as in, not in the USofA). From there he spent an enormous amount of hours perfecting his CV, putting his teaching philosophy into words, writing cover letters, gathering references and testimonies and putting together a website dedicated to promoting himself as an international teacher. He has since put applications out to schools in Mali, The Cayman Islands, Rio de Janeiro, etc. Now we wait patiently for responses. 

What have I been doing during all this. Stressing. Worrying. Wondering about the future. Let me first state this. I love my husband, I respect my husband, and I want him to succeed. Despite the steady flow of gigs that Duane has had in Nashville, we are not reaping the benefits. The idea itself has met a lot of resistance from all different kinds of people (I'll admit, that I have had my doubts and issues). People mean well and I love that they can feel comfortable to speak truth to us and caution us from making decisions we may regret. I know that they speak out of love for us. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? God calls us to do and try many different things and I never want to be close-minded or stiff-necked. I have always thought, God won't call me to do anything radical like moving to another country, being a missionary,etc. I'll just be a nurse...the gosh-darn best, most compassion, caring nurse you have ever had, all for God's glory ;). Never say never people. Never say never. 

It took me awhile of wrestling with this, being angry, sad, upset, excited...you name it. I can't believe I didn't break something in a random fit of rage. (Yes, I am my father's daughter. I have quite the temper.) I worried about bills that we have, the puppy we love, what would/could I do in a foreign country, and how would I get along if I didn't know the language. Fear is crippling. I hate not having a plan; a well formed check list of 'to-dos' I can calmly work my way through. I am struggling to learn that I am not, nor will I ever be, in control. 

In this moment though, I feel peace. I am determined to be still, and wait on the timing of the Lord. 

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