Crazy Love

So, today I finally bit the bullet and sat down to reread "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. (I've tried to read it before but it is so true to my life that its like a kick in the gut and a reality check for how I am lacking). I have spent too much time wallowing in my own guilt and mediocrity instead of running full speed towards the amazing life and love that Christ offers. How I currently feel about my relationship with Christ is worded perfectly by Francis Chan in the preface for this book.

"I called myself a christian, was pretty involved in church, and tried to stay away from all the things that 'good christians' avoid - drinking, drugs, sex, swearing. Christianity was simple: fight your desires in order to please God. Whenever I failed (which was often), I'd walk around feeling guilty and distant from God."

It truly hurts me to admit my faults and failures to others, but to say that I really don't stumble is a flat out lie. I fear judgement just as much as everyone else, so it is hard for me to say that that is how I feel about my life. But it is SOO easy to say that I do not want to carry on in that way anymore. Why just scrape by when I could have something awesome and amazing that God is holding out to me. Instead of pretending to be some "perfect little christian," maybe I should just be real and honest with people so I can have more meaningful relationships. I can see the light and goodness of God all around me already, blessing me because of the changes that I am going to at least try.

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." Romans 1:20

I don't want to live my life in a way that I am missing the beauty and wonder of God all around me. The magnificent creation he has given to us is life in a beautiful place. I know I'm going to fail miserably and have to start over again and again, but what else could be more worth it? We have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of who God is in order to desire a relationship with him. When I falter, I know its time that I remind myself again.

I hope that I wasn't too scattered or rambled too much. And I hope that whoever reads this will receive it with an open heart to hear what the Lord has in store for them. I am trying to take what I read and apply it to my life and "I believe that He wants us to love others so much that we go to extremes to help him" -Francis Chan. I hope that there will be ways that I can help the people in my life.